Bo & Dawn Unplugged, Part 3
Dawn: Can you tell them a little about what goes on backstage before you go out and speak? It’s usually you’re there about two hours or 90 minutes before your talk. I usually give you an opportunity to walk on the stage at some point. What are you eating? Do you have lunch? If it’s later, do you not have lunch? How do you prepare your notes? What do you in bring your backpack, your rocks—all that stuff.
Bo: I always bring my rocks. I always have lip balm because my lips sometimes get dry. I have my water, which is already open and I’ve already drank from it so I don’t have to fumble with that. I have notes. I always have notes, just reminders if I lose my place. And you know when I lose my place because I’m talking (walks toward table to take a sip of water). And I’m looking at my notes because I don’t know where I am. And the audience is patient. They’re like, “I guess he’s just thirsty.” They think it’s cool that you’re not actually speaking. They’re like, “It’s so cool that he’s drinking water.” All I’m trying to do is find my way. So I just have my notes and if I’m off or need to be reminded of something, I look at the note and take a sip of water.
Backstage, and my Mastermind group knows because they meet me in a city and they see what I do backstage, they see how I prepare to be on stage. They see the nutrition, which is usually very light, like a bar—a protein bar specifically chosen—a lot of water, a lot of hydration. I don’t eat anything heavy. I don’t eat like a big breakfast or a big meal before because I don’t like the feeling.
All I’m doing backstage is trying to free myself up. I’m never going, “Should I say this or should I say that. Should I do this or should I do that.” I never get into my dialogue. All I get into is the freedom of this body because I know once I’m free up here, I’m good to go. Things will come out of my mouth that will work. And you’ve got to trust yourself. That’s why all of the preparation and rehearsal because you’ve got to trust yourself when you’re up here. I’m just looking for freedom, that’s all I’m looking for. And then right afterwards, I’m really depleted after a speech. It takes a lot of energy to be in front of people. They’ve done a test where they attach electrodes to performers on stage. They say two hours on stage in front of people is like a steelworker’s 12-hour shift. The same energy is expended—12 hours in a steel mill, two hours on stage. Because you have to keep them alive, you’ve got to keep them there. You’ve got to work your ass off—that’s why you sweat. You’ve got be drinking, you’ve got be hydrated. As soon as I go off, I’m immediately getting protein and greens into my body to fix the depletion so I can go the next day—a lot of energy to be great on stage. I know it looks smooth and it looks easy. It takes a lot of energy to be smooth. Do you know how long it takes to be smooth and effortless? It takes forever. Preparation is the key.
The first thing I do when I’m on stage is try to find somebody. I go to the most energetic person. Whoever has the good energy, my instincts go right to them. I always find someone and I lock into them. I can do an entire three-day event to one person and everyone thinks I’m only talking to them because it’s so personal between us two—that’s why when you speak to groups, you speak to nobody; you speak to a person, you speak to everybody. That’s the biggest mistake speakers make. It’s so risky, and makes you vulnerable, to connect to a person. It’s much easier to not connect and talk to a group. “Hey group, I’m talking right over your heads. I don’t see you. I don’t even care.” But when I’m working, I’m looking and I’m going, “What’s he’s thinking? Does he have to go to the bathroom?” “Is that dude hungry? That dude is freaking hungry. He’s a mutt. He has to eat.” “Who’s she? Is she liking this?” I’m present to everybody. I know what’s going on. Right? But that makes you and me connected. That’s a whole different experience, that’s why you don’t look away. That’s why people don’t mill around at my events.
You know you go to events and people are walking around and talking—they’re everywhere. But no one ever does that in this event. No one does it. It’s not allowed because it’s an intention on my part. I don’t allow it. You want to be casual and walk in the park, go to somebody else’s event. If you’re not a pro, if you’re an amateur, you ain’t coming in. And there’s going to be a sign when you enter that says, “Absolutely no admittance. Players only beyond this point.” If you can’t cross that threshold, you’re out. Isn’t that what you desire too? That’s what you have to start demanding of your customers. They’ve got to be players. They can’t be slackers. That’s what you demand of your customers and you watch what happens to your business. Your business goes through the roof and you’re surrounded by people you love and respect. I get to work with people who I respect and love. And I don’t work with anybody else. Can you imagine someone working with me who’s like, “Hey Bo, I’m not really clear on what we’re doing?” OUT. That’s a way of survival—confusion is a way of survival. We are not confused. You must demand this of your people and watch who rises to the occasion—like you … you’ve got be able to play. I demand everything that you’ve got. I’m asking you to take the most shameful thing in your life, the thing that you’ve tried to guard your whole life and I’m asking you to use it as gold. That’s very risky. You need a very safe environment to do that—that’s what Dawn and our team provides. But in the end, you’re employed for the rest of your life. They can take your bank accounts, they can take your homes, the can take your cars and they can take your family away from you. But you have a platform and a story. You can make that money back and you can take that family back in 90 days because you’re in control of your own career.
You’re no longer at the mercy of a government or of the powers that be or somebody choosing to hire you. I used to wait for the phone to ring. As an actor, that was my business. I would wait. And other people were taking that shit. And I said, “You know what? I’m going to choose me. I’m going to create my own way.” And from that moment on, I didn’t ever have to wait for the phone to ring again. Take your life into your own hands.
