I get so many questions from people asking how to feel more passionate, or connected, to their story. One of the words I love most is ‘magnetism’. We all want to be magnetic, right? That’s what gets people to pay attention to you.

This is my favorite definition of magnetism: He or she who has the power to affect others with the delight they take in themselves. 

To be magnetic on stage (or when leading a meeting or pitching a client) you better love your story. You’ve got to love what you’re talking about. You can’t NOT care about what you’re saying because the audience will feel that right away. When you love what you’re talking about, your audience will love it too, and now you’re on the way to building connections that will create trust and give you more influence. 

One way to feel more connected to what you’re saying is to look within yourself. People often try to go outside themselves and focus on what their audience wants to hear. I think that’s a mistake. What turns you on as a coach, as a speaker and as a businessperson? That’s what you want to talk about and what you want your story to help you convey.  

People will only be magnetized by what turns YOU on. 

If you’ve ever seen someone like Mikhail Baryshnikov perform or Robert De Niro or Al Pacino on stage, I guarantee you they fell in love with the character they were playing. And they had to do that role or perform in that ballet. That’s what attracted the audience to them. Those artists’ attraction to the content of their performance caused the audience to be attracted to them.   

Your audience loves what you love. If it’s important to you, it is important to them. So the next time you give a presentation, or a speech, or are shooting a video for your blog, think about the video you want to see. Think of the speech that would inspire you. Think of the presentation that would have you sitting on the edge of your seat going, “Dang, I wish everybody did it this way.”